Cupid & God

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Thirsty yet fearful I waited for an answer
On a dry field I walked, 2 years

Trusting in a life of air, honesty and inaction

Looking up to the sky
I was waiting for my chance with cupid and god
But as my eyes stared up, focused and blinded
Beneath my feet the ground did vanish
And all that was left was a hole.

Dark and dry, the lips of my hole ripe for a kiss
From fate, not now, it will come.

But my lips, they stayed dry
A dirt filled mouth to pray
Just catch your destiny. It will find you.

I willed and wished apathetic and passive
Do nothing, let it be done.

Stay safe in dirt and indecision.

God and cupid revealed in passing
But dirt attracts dirt and they stayed away.

I stared in the face of meteors, begging for a sign
Inviting rocks as my tribe, I cowered on the bed of dirt

Familiar, hard and dry.

A beating feels safe when you’ve met the abuser.

The meteors they plummeted
And crashed through the clouds stealing rain
To wet the lips to my hole

But the dirt lips eroded while mine were wet
And as I remembered how it felt to taste drops
The opening closed and I was encased in mud, wet mud.

Grains in my eyes and sealed breath
I thought, how peaceful it would be to quit
Have no more meaning, have no more drive, have no more me

To drown or be wet.

You can’t swim in dirt but mud you can persuade

So I stroked to the top, birthed on land
Exposed and vulnerable but closer to cupid and god

Making changes in holes when all you see is the sky.